Thursday, March 28, 2013

A Third Person Reality



This week has kicked off the lovely time of year known as March Madness. It is a time when those that may regularly care nothing for college basketball are drawn into cheering for teams to which they have no real ties, other than they may have picked them in a work bracket pool. I have watched more college basketball in the last 72 hours than I care to admit. Of course, along with the watching of hours and hours of television comes the undesirable reality of sitting through hours of commercials, advertisements, and promos for fabric softener, beer, life insurance, cars and one that included Michael Jordan and a man wearing a shirt made of kittens.

There is nothing quite as maddening as watching commercials, except maybe watching the same commercial again and again. Niklas Luhmann, author of The Reality of the Mass Media, which I read recently, astutely observes that “advertising is one of the most puzzling phenomena… How can well-to-do members of society be so stupid as to spend large amounts of money on advertising in order to confirm their belief in the stupidity of others?” Most of us may roll our eyes when a commercial contains the shameless ploys of a sexy girl, a hilarious catch phrase, or a blatant questioning of the viewer’s adequacy without such and such a product. The baffling thing is that it works. Luhmann goes on to say that “advertising has already achieved success when people even ask themselves the question whether or not a new kitchen ought to be bought, since initially it is more likely that the mind is not preoccupied with one’s kitchen but with something else.” In other words, advertising creates a situation in which a decision on a need must be made. It also initiates very natural questions relating to self-inspection. Would this improve my quality of life? How am I being perceived by others? How can I take advantage of more of my time? What is missing in my life? These are all very fine self-examining questions to ask of ourselves on a regular basis. However, it may be helpful to take it a step further by asking what realities are influencing you to ask these questions of yourself.

Again in Luhmann’s book, he describes the complications that arise when we have allowed too many sources to influence our reality. “The more complex the system becomes and the more it exposes itself to irritations, the more variety the world can permit without relinquishing any reality - and the more the system can afford to work with negations, with fictions, with merely analytical or statistical assumptions which distance it from the world as it is.” We exist in the most complex, media saturated, and media driven society in the history of the world. That may sound dramatic, but we live in a time in which the majority of the world is connected through little devices through which anyone in the world can share an opinion, a story, a picture, etc., with nearly anyone else. That has never been true before in the history of our planet and most clearly magnifies the onslaught of perspectives and alternate realities we can interact with, billions of times over. While this is in some ways a positive experience, it leaves the door wide open to have one’s self completely affected by dozens of smaller, fictional, more hidden and potentially more destructive influences on our reality.
We are surrounded by an unlimited amount of other realities. Between the phone, television, or internet, we can even create our own catalog of many different identities and forms of interaction. However, we risk solidifying an authentic reality by participating in so many fractured and manufactured ones. We also risk overloading our ability to seriously examine the legitimacy and the detriment of participating in various micro realities. The frequent and dangerous result is that we live in so many manufactured realities that we cease to understand our own.

This phenomena can result in individuals feeling divided, isolated, and unsure of who they really are. I realize this may sound self-appeasing coming from a blog, but the technology of dissemination is not the problem. The problem is not Facebook, Twitter, YouTube or any other form of social media. The problem is the deliberately edited profiles, the hand selected pictures, the crafted comments that embellish or craft a careful image of ourselves. The error is in being concerned with our perceived selves rather than who we really are. I speak from far too much experience studying what I should identify myself with that would gain me the most approval from those I wished to draw attention from. I played off much of this falsehood under the cover of “humility”, when it could have more accurately been titled “insecurity”. In many ways, we can easily become spectators of our own lives, watching our lives happen almost as if watching someone else. We can live in the pockets of insecurity that are naturally created in our own minds and are exemplified in the exaggerated explanations of our professions, the fantasies of numerous shallow relationships, or embellishments of our perceived selves. We can continually do this rather than ever really living. 

If I may return for a moment to the March Madness, perhaps this is why we are so attached to these different forms of entertainment, whether it’s the Indiana Hoosiers, the Boston Red Sox, the reality show Survivor, or Downton Abbey. We have become accustomed to feeling pain and triumph through being spectators of someone else’s living and dying. Maybe it’s easier that way. But it is a sad existence if we can call it that at all. Frederick Buechner proposes some litmus test questions to discern whether you’ve been living your own life.

“Have you wept at anything during the past year?
Has your heart beat faster at the sight of young beauty?
Have you thought seriously about the fact that someday you are going to die?
More often than not do you really listen when people are speaking to you instead of just waiting for your turn to speak?
Is there anybody you know in whose place, if one of you had to suffer great pain, you would volunteer yourself?
If your answer to most of these questions is no, the chances are that you’re dead.”

I love this excerpt. However, I think it’s possible to answer “yes” to all of these questions and still be “dead” in the sense that Buechner means. Let’s look at some examples.
Have you wept at anything during the past year? Yes, I started tearing up as I watched Peyton Manning give his farewell speech to the Indianapolis Colts. Also, when Sybil died in that Downton Abbey show.
Has your heart beat faster at the sight of beauty? Why of course. If you mean beauty in nature, I watched this fantastic display of lightning on a time lapse video that was breath taking. Oh and if you mean human beauty, following the Knicks game a commercial aired featuring Diane Lane. She is so pretty.
Have you thought seriously about the fact that someday you are going to die? Yes, and I often wonder if people will write post mortem messages on my Facebook wall.  
More often than not do you really listen when people are speaking to you instead of just waiting for your turn to speak? Yes, but I have so much to say and want people to know how brilliant I am!
Is there anybody you know in whose place, if one of you had to suffer great pain, you would volunteer yourself? Yes, my wife. Except for child birth, that looks like too much pain.

In the examples I’ve given, the detachment from the integrity of these questions is obvious. The questioner is seeking an authentic and personal reflection and answers like these take the seriousness of life too lightly or perhaps welcome the distractions from true reality too easily. Both tendencies point toward similar limitations of living true life, feeling true pain, and experiencing true joy. Let us not be constantly waiting for one distraction or another to end before we can get down to the business of really living our lives. Let’s seek to have the maturity, authenticity, transparency, and shrewdness to examine what we allow to influence and distract us from our own reality.

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